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He is 'The Loutish One'. Allow me to introduce you to... F-Smith

After leaving school, F-Smith became an apprentice plumber where his new found profession evolved into his new found love with only one other "vice" matching its highly regarded status... Booze! Oh yes, F-Smith loves a tipple and over time, F-Smith started to meet and greet every drinker in Bristol by shaking their hand, buying them a drink and inviting them to paint his toe-nails with a deep-fat fryer. F-Smith was a founding member of the Smorn gang, gaining VIP status through fear that he would wallop you over the head with a tool-bag should you not deem him important enough.

F-Smith is a man of aggression, fighting his way through life in a hard-hitting manner. That said, F-Smith was always willing to help people with their troubled possessions. It was in 1991 that F-Smith was on hand to assist a fellow drinker who was having problems with her camera. As it was clear to those around that the camera would not take a photo as so desired, F-Smith took it upon himself to take the item, pull it to bits, lose a large quantity of said bits, before claiming, "It's f*cked!". The owner of the camera was ecstatic in the fact that F-Smith had taken such time and care to completely demolish her expensive item and thanked F-Smith by calling him a twat before storming off in floods of tears. F-Smith retaliated by throwing a large marrow at her that he happened to have handy in his ever-present tool-bag.

Apart from plumbing, F-Smith is an avid fan of body-art, having several thousand tattoos plastered all over his body. It is without doubt that F-Smith's favourite tattoo is of a cheesecake that is planted in the centre of his left bottom-cheek. In his own words, F-Smith explains, "I have always liked cheesecake and thought I would do the honourable thing in celebrating my love for the cake made of cheese, by shoving a picture of one on my arse. Problem is that now, all of the colours have merged and now it resembles a blancmange that I'm not too keen on. In fact, it looks f*cking shit!"... Let us learn a tad more about F-Smith, with answers from his very own lips...

Full Name: Carey Smith

Known As: F-Smith

Interests: Booze, plumbing, cider & alcohol

Likes: Drinking & ratchets

Dislikes: Electricians

Favourite Song: Bob The Builder

Favourite Film: Confessions of a Plumber

Ambition: To plumb in Buckingham Palace

Perfect Woman: Someone that does as she's told

Hero: Oliver Reed

Favourite Drink: Blackthorn

Favourite Pub/Club: Wetherspoons

Favourite Book: A Plumbers Complete Guide

Who Do You Look Like: Marc Almond -&- Kevin from Coronation Street

Most Embarrassing Moment: Marie Harris

Favourite Saying: F*CK

 

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