He is 'The Witty One'. Allow me to introduce you to... Slim

After laying in bed one night alongside a sock full of Creme Broule, Slim decided that the world would be a better place with his presence in it and joined his step-brother in a jaunt down town to see what all the fuss was about. It was here that the Smornettes had their first taste of Slim who seemed to want to punch the nearest bloke that dare stare at him, yet immediately tell them a joke as they stood fuming at his initial intentions.

Slim is a man of wit, having studied all the greats such as Lenny Henry, Dustin Gee and Dawn French. In 2001, Slim once approached a tramp and quoted the statement, "penny for your thoughts", whilst spending a penny (i.e. having a wee) on his head whilst the tramp chuckled at the amusing way that Slim had decided to relieve himself. It was only after an hour that Slim had realised that he was asleep on a bar-stool in The Hatchet, surrounded by a disgusted crowd that had watched Slim wee himself whilst miraculously sleeping in an upright position, a trick that has often been performed although never mimicked by others (sleeping whilst upright that is).

Slim is a talented comedy-writer and budding actor, having co-written and performed in the much loved 'Jeff Goopy - Male Escort'. In addition, Slim is an Alf Roberts impersonator, earning up to £4 whilst opening school fetes and local supermarkets before enticing his audience into a fight in a comedic manner... Let us learn a tad more about Slim, with answers from his very own lips...

Full Name: Colin Payne

Known As: Slim

Interests: Dancing like a spanner, cracking rubbish jokes & oriental films

Likes: Food

Dislikes: Full-fat milk

Favourite Song: Devil in Disguise - Elvis Presley

Favourite Film: Anything with martial arts

Ambition: To become a professional script-writer

Perfect Woman: Will have large boobs

Hero: Spike Milligan

Favourite Drink: Jack & Coke (no ice as you can't down it as easily)

Favourite Pub/Club: The Hatchet

Favourite Book: Anything by Terry Pratchet

Who Do You Look Like: Alf Roberts

Most Embarrassing Moment: Snogging Sid Little

Favourite Saying: Why did the chicken cross the road...

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