He is 'The Womanising One'. Allow me to introduce you to... Gay

After winning the coveted 'Largest Nostrils in the World' competition, Gay decided that he should put his efforts into something more worthwhile and therefore proceeded to hound Ry until such time as he was asked over for tea at his mothers house. After scoffing a large quantity of mashed potato without actually saying a word (although his nose was snorting like a good un whilst trying to gasp for air), Ry decided the only way to get a word of sense from Gay was to invite him down the pub, where the luxury of ale may prompt him to reveal the real Rich Gay.

Gay is a self-confessed womaniser who likes nothing better than to talk utter nonsense to any passing female in the hope that they will succumb to his charms. It was reported that whilst in a nightclub back in 1997, Gay hunted down a lass wearing a 'Sesame Street' T-Shirt and thought he would get on her wave-length by bellowing those infamous words often chanted by Jim Hendersons very own 'Count'. Without a moment of introduction, Gay screamed in the ear of said lady, "One ha ha ha, Two ha ha ha", before being reported to the local police for being an utter twat.

Gay likes to spend his spare time doing nothing apart from contemplating his next conquest. Whilst he has a wife and a loving son named Gordon (that's his sons name and not that of his wife), Gay deems himself as an animal, to which animals were put on this planet to breed with as many fellow animals as possible. This is probably his reason for trying to shaft a chicken whilst visiting Windmill Hill Farm last summer... Let us learn a tad more about Gay, with answers from his very own lips...

Full Name: Richard Gay

Known As: Gay

Interests: Women

Likes: Women

Dislikes: Waking up at 5am due to his son screaming

Favourite Song: My Morning Song - The Black Crowes

Favourite Film: Dead Presidents

Ambition: To have normal coloured feet

Perfect Woman: Anything goes

Hero: Ry

Favourite Drink: Anything cheap... i.e. pond or rain water

Favourite Pub/Club: Wetherspoons (as it's cheap)

Favourite Book: I'm Only Scary Cus I'm Hairy

Who Do You Look Like: Charles Hawtrey

Most Embarrassing Moment: When my green feet are observed by the fairer sex

Favourite Saying: It's not my round -&- One ha ha haaaa!

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