In & out like a rampant rabbit. Smorn.com invites you to view the profiles of those chaps that have made guest appearances as and when they feel like it. To Hayward, Norm, Maverick, Phil, Neil Smith and Mark Sawyers, dedication is a word that is sung by Roy Castle and should hold no other relevance. That said. we will love them forever...

	Andy Hayward: 'Hays' was a potential full-timer with the Smorn gang, although his fetish with fitness prevented him from attending regular events with the fear that over-indulgence would knacker his healthy regime like a hammer to the head of a small pea. That said, those times when Hays did attend, allowed him to score numerous goals, spend a night in hospital with a severe head injury (due to falling off a curb) and exhibit his fabulous dance routines in order to avoid buying a round. Hays is currently living in St.George, Bristol, with his girlfriend (dispelling gay rumours) and several guinea-pigs. He also writes comedy with Ry and Slim Payne, in the hope of finding fame and fortune.
	Norman Cotter: Norm gave up his career as a carpet-layer to concentrate on boozing which eventually paid dividends when he won the prestigious, 'I Like Wearing a Blue T-Shirt' Award in 2004. After indulging in consistent 3-day boozeathons upon a weekly basis between 2001-2002, Norm decided it was time to become a part-time member of the Smorn gang and concentrate on more mature activities such as playing Ping-Pong, becoming a Town-Crier (no relation to Barry), and brushing up on his tickling technique that was later to become the driving force in him meeting his girlfriend. Norm currently eats prunes and works in Lidl.
	Mark Sawyers: Whilst Mark claimed to be the brother of the infamous Steve (Chief), it was often riddled with doubt as Mark held little ability in swigging ale at a rate of 10 pints per hour. That said, Mark was always a welcome member of the Smorn troupe, where he attended in between girlfriends until the time of his ultimate vow when he decided to marry a pigeon from Torquay. Mark currently lives in no-mans-land with a clear desire to set up his own rank of bus-stops. Mark explains in his own words:- "I've always liked bus-stops. Some people class that as a hobby and some deem it as a tad wild. Either way, I like bus-stops as not only do busses stop there, but they also hold an array of advertisements"
	Neil Smith: The 'Bristol Evening Post' once suggested that Neil was a doorstop for the local newsagents, although after building himself a firm case, Neil pushed back on this accusation due to said newsagents requiring the door to be closed at all times. That said, Neil tended to pop up when least expected, barging in on the Smorn posse with a big smile and a huge collection of bin-liners. As the brother of F-Smith, Neil often found himself as the butt of peoples jokes, branding him the brother of Kevin Webster, the sibling of Mark Almond or the family member of Sid Vicious (although not sure if the term "family member" actually meant "penis"). Neil is currently married and stares at his knee for most of the time.
	Phil: Not to be mistaken for the word "feel", Phil has been in and out of the Smorn contingent for the past 4yrs after trying it on with Jack whom Phil had mistaken for a Russian lollypop one drug-fueled evening. Phil is a professional writer and gigolo, although the latter has since fallen by the wayside since his current girlfriend, Natalie Embrugulo, stole his heart and volunteered to do menial duties upon his behalf, such as ironing, washing and curb-crawling. Phil is currently sat in a deck-chair in Totterdown, Bristol, attempting to find the meaning of life that he feels is a toss-up between owning a Fiat Punto and understanding how to stroke a goldfish without getting your hands wet.
	Maverick: The man known only as Maverick graced the Smorn scene in 2000, after attempting to crack onto 'The Weathergirl' only to find a piece of chewing-gum in her ear with the words "I look like me muvver" blazoned across the middle. In order to curb the curiosity that banged within his head like a small boy ogling the top shelf of a paper-stand, Maverick located those associated with Smorn through only a map of Chard and a pair of sunglasses. It was here that Maverick remained a mystery, only revealing what was necessary to those chosen few. It was due to this ignorance that he was mostly ignored. Currently, Maverick can be seen hanging out of a car window with a cute dog beside him.